there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He told me they were just razor bumps!
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Boobs are out for the taking
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
