whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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