At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
