can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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