well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
