Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
