WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
