She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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