you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
