there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
