come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
