I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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