I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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