I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
