3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
