At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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