went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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