Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
