I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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