I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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