either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
