Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
