none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
