I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
