Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
