I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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