That's when you crack a 10am beer
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
