Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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