I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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