p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
