Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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