He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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