is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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