This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Still dying that you shit outside
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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