Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
