is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
