theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
