Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He better not be in your backpack
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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