there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
