i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
