Me. At least after what I've been through.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
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