And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
