So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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