My hand turned me down
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
