yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
