ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
