you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
