My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
