I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
