Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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