apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
