I hope mine doesn't look like that
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
