i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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