I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Randomize
