i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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